Oh Great, SHE found out

Needless to say Nick and I wanted to keep the news of our pregnancy a secret until we knew the risk of miscarriage went down. Yes, there were some that we hated we could not share our news with, because they are the ones we are closest too, and the ones we knew who would be the happiest about this pregnancy. When Nick and I started to tell family, and friends the first question asked is, "well, are y'all telling everybody." Nick and I answer this, "well yes, but there is only ONE person we do not want to find out." You might be thinking what is Nick and Shannon's problem, who would they have a problem with. We knew SHE would find out eventually, but the longer the better for my pregnancy. I don't need any extra outside stress, this pregnancy is already stressful enough. One thing I purposely left out in my blog about my second miscarriage is the behind the scenes drama that was taking place. I am writing this tonight because if you guessed it, yes SHE found out. I was visiting with my mom tonight and came home to a present on my doorstep from this particular PERSON. It was a bag of diapers and a case of lotions and shampoo, etc. You might think, well that was really nice of them, but if you knew this person you would know that it was HER way of telling us that SHE knew. It was a spiteful gift and you will find out why we believe this.

I will keep this persons identity a secret, only because it will only make things worse on me and Nick if we told HER name. I will say she is someone that should have been a little more encouraging and compassionate during our emotional time of losing our second child. I will begin to explain the extra grief this women put us through, during an already grief stricken time in out lives.

Let me tell you again about the day and days following after we found out we would be losing our second baby. Nick and I went into our first ultrasound, not thinking anything bad would come of it. Within seconds of the ultrasound, we knew something was wrong. The ultrasound tech told us the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Your mind can not properly grasp that. I'm thinking first, she is wrong, second, oh well just give it a couple more days and the heart will start back. I could not understand that no heartbeat would mean another miscarriage. After talking with the doctor about my desire NOT to have a D&C that I wanted to wait and let my body miscarry naturally, we finally got to leave to go home and pick up the pieces of our shattered heart.

We called the necessary people and told them the news and of course word got out, which we were thankful for, we did not have to tell everyone ourselves. We got home and updated our facebook status with song lyrics that represented how we were feeling that night. Of course the ones that knew, replied that they loved us, were sorry and were praying for us as well. Something you would expect from the ones who love and care about you. Nick and I made indications about the upcoming miscarriage. The next two days Nick and I trying to go through the flow of emotions posted scripture referencing things like miracles and faith and hope. We were not silent in our desire for God to save our baby and to gives us that miracle. The faith we have in God, gives us the hope that yes God can do anything. I believe in the miracles told in the Bible, if God wanted too, he could make our baby's heart start beating again. That's when this woman started her attack. On Nick's post he wrote the verse Mark 10:27, Jesus looked at them and said, "with man it is impossible but not with God. For all things are possible with God." Nick ended with, still praying for a miracle. This Lady responded, "a miracle would be nice and it is true that it is not impossible with God. God could give your baby life, but I cannot help but ask: Why should you get your baby back when millions of other people don't? Women have their babies literally ripped from their bodies while they scream bloody murder and then they are left to bleed and die. They don't get any condolences, prayer, or any kind of expression of sympathy whatsoever. They believe in God just as much as you, if not more. They didn't do anything to bring it on themselves as some "church" people say. Perhaps you should count yourselves fortunate. Be thankful this is all God has done in this area." I wish the story ended there, but SHE was just getting started. She had an agenda and it was to make Nick and I completely miserable. She was waiting for the perfect opportunity to say things to us that she has waited years to say. I guess she thought oh, well they are already going through so much, now sounds like a perfect time to me to unlease my hatred on them. Needless to say, we have tried our best not to have any contact with this women, easier said then done. It is not healthy nor wise or Biblical for us to put ourselves in a situation to be attacked over and over. Nick and I might not have gotten our miracle from God with saving our baby, but we pray that God would use is powers to heal this women.

Doctors appointment

Got to hear the baby's heartbeat again this afternoon. Still beating strong at around the 150's. Nick and I are so excited, we are really starting to have talks about this baby. Thinking about the future we pray everyday to have with this child. I'm beginning to think about the kind of Mom I want to be, and imagining how great Nick is going to be as a Dad. Although we know our life is never going to be the same (no more sleeping in) we know its for the better. we are happy to make the necessary sacrifices for this child.

Not that it matters either way, we get to find out the gender of the baby in 4 weeks. Then on to painting the baby's room, and looking for those cute little outfits that we can't live without. Can't wait!!!

This past week has for the most part been a good week. Best I have felt since finding out we were expecting. We got a chance to go to the beach for a couple of days and mainly just relax. I did get sick one night out of the blue, because I had felt great prior too. The last day at the beach it was just too hot to be out on the beach, luckily where we stayed, we had a pool!!! God has blessed so much more than what we deserve and I have a feeling things are only going to get better.

I've already started to show a little bit, but it just mainly looks like I have a chubby belly. Will need to go shopping for some clothes soon, Nick should have fun with that.

We've made it to 12 weeks!!!!!

We have made it to 12 weeks!!! I never thought we would get this far. Praise God, I really don't need to say anymore. Only God has made this possible. I pray He continues to give us (baby & mommy) the care we need. I pray that God will raise me and Nick up to be the Godly parents we need to be for this child.

You know you are 12 weeks pregnant when......

1. You think, has it only been 12 weeks and how many more weeks do I have
2. You cry over the stupidest things on TV
3. Even though no one knows your pregnant, you think everyone is looking at your stomach
4. Your clothes are no longer fitting properly and yet you are too small for maternity clothes and you think what am I suppose to do about this.
5. You are already having a tough time sleeping
6. You are having "Hot Flashes"
7. You are hungry, but you don't want anything to eat (nausea)
8. You almost throw-up everytime you brush your teeth, and they stress how important dental care is during pregnancy.
9. You get headaches even when The Husband isn't around :)

Want to wish my mommmy a very Happy Birthday today, I love you!!!!