Another Mother's Day

Wow, has it really been TWO Mother's day since my first miscarriage. So that means another Mother's Day church service, that I cried all the way through. Our church has this service every Mother's Day that gives a rose to the Mother that is the oldest, the Mother that is the youngest, and the Mother who has had the most kids. Then all Mothers get some kind of gift from the church. The past two years I would have won the rose for being the youngest mother. But I could not win, because my babies are not here with me. They never made it into this world. I wanted to stand up anyways, but I knew that it would just make it awkward for everyone else. I wouldn't want the mother that won to feel like I took something that was rightfully hers.

To make it even harder on me, they asked all the mothers to stand and the church gave them all a potted flower. It was so hard to just sit there while everyone around me had biggest smiles on their face receiving their flowers.

I thought today I wasn't going to cry since I am actually pregnant this Mother's Day, but I was wrong. It was just as bad because I wish I never lost my other two babies, and because no one knows I'm pregnant. I had only three people tell me Happy Mother's Day today. I might not have any children that I'm raising but I do have two that are in Heaven. I might not be a mother to society, but I am a mother in my heart.

After losing my last baby on New Year's Day, I was dreading this day. I prayed to God that he would bless us with another baby and I prayed it would happen before Mother's Day. God is so amazing because he did bless us with another baby, and I found out 4 days before Mother's Day.

So today I want to say Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers whether their children are here on earth or in Heaven. And a Happy Mother's Day to those Mothers that are not able to have their own children.