January 13, 2011
Only 7 % of women actually deliver on their due date and only about 8% percent of women have their water break on it's own. Believe it or not both of those happened to me. My water broke and I had Nathan on his due date! I guess I am one of the lucky few. Maybe I should start playing the lottery, lol.
I kept saying over and over that Nathan did not want to be born, well I never knew how true those words were. We had a very long and difficult birth, but the important thing is God took care of us and we are both healthy and strong. I tried writing this after settling in with Nathan at home, but everything I wrote just did not feel right. After a year of reflection I feel that I finally capture the right words to describe what has forever changed my world and my heart! Maybe a certain little one's birthday might have had something to do with why I was finally able to put into words about how he came into this world.
On January 12 at 2:15pm as soon as I sat down on the toilet, my water broke! In less than a minute I went through a lot of different emotions. First denial, "did my water really just break." Second, how lucky was I to be on the toilet when it happened, no clean up! Third, "ready or not now this means I have a baby on the way." And lastly I need to call Nick, and do I tell him to come on home or wait. I texted Nick, and told him and of course he was happy but at the same time worried. I told him not to rush home because I was fine and my contractions hadn't yet started.
I instantly went into, "Get ready mode." I very hurriedly straightened up the house. I then took a shower and shaved my legs, who wants hairy legs during their delivery! Its crazy now thinking back at the things I did right after going into labor. I must have looked like a wild woman running around.
Nick finally got home the earliest he has ever been, lol. My contractions still had not started. So I finally decided to call my doula (Marisa- my life saver) and told her the good news. She was a little concerned that I did not automatically start having contractions. She told me to immediately go and walk. We drove to church because it was too cold to walk outside. Around 6:00 after walking over an hour and a half I finally started to feel the first contractions. There is no feeling like, knowing your body is naturally pushing on your baby for delivery. Excitement, anxious and endurance kicked in. I had adrenaline that I did not know was possible. I knew I was in good hands with Nick by my side. He was ready to help me in any way possible. We were ready for this journey we waited SO long for.
By 8:00 that night I called Marisa and told her that I was ready for her to come over. My contractions were a lot stronger and I needed some help to alleviate the pain. I tried everything to help with each contraction. I could not sit down, lay down, or squat. All I could do was walk! I know I must have walked miles in little circles in our living room. After a contraction I would use a hot rice sock to ease my back pain and I would finally get to sit for a few minutes to gear up for the next one. Finally after midnight we made the decision to go on to the hospital. I was very nervous about the 25 minute ride to the hospital. Not being able to walk through a contraction was almost too much to bare. It was a lot easier than I anticipated. I was really looking forward to finding out how much I had dilated and that got me through the car ride along with my amazing husband.
We got checked in and sent up to the delivery room. My nurse was a little upset that we waited so long to come in after my water broke. I was hooked up to the monitor to check Nathan's heartbeat and they checked my dilation. I was a little disappointed that I had only dilated 4 cm but was happy to have a number to go on. If anything it pepped me up a little and made me more determined to do what I could do to hurry things along. The nurses we perfectly fine with us walking around. So that's what we did. We walked and walked the hallways. We walked by the nursery but the blinds were closed so we did not get to see any babies.
Three hours later they wanted to check my progress again before the Doctors shifts changed. We were shocked that I had not dilated anymore, I was still at 4 cm. The doctor on duty decided that it would be best to help me along by giving me pitocin to speed things up. For some reason my body was not responding to the contractions like it should have. The doctor was also worried about Nathan, his heart rate was fluctuating and they wanted to keep me hooked up to the monitor. I also had to wear an oxygen mask because they were worried about Nathan's levels. I talked to Marisa and she said that in her opinion that it would be in my best interest to go ahead and get an epidural. That pitocin makes contractions a lot stronger and the doctors would not let me walk around anymore. So at 4 am I got my epidural and after 10 (yes 10) hours of walking I just had to lay in bed. At this point its been 14 hours since my water broke.
I remember laying there with the worst neck pain. After all the build up of stress, excitement and adrenaline I had no way of releasing it. I was told that I would probably have Nathan in a few hours around 9am. I remember 9am coming and going, then I was told a different time and then that also came and went. I was checked again around 11am by Dr. Collins and after being told that I was at 8cm he determined that Nathan was in fact face up instead of face down. They think that's why my delivery was taking so long even after pitocin was administered. So in order to get Nathan positioned correctly Dr. Collins pushed Nathan back up in hopes that he would settle back down in the right position. The nurses also laid the bed back so it felt like all the blood was rushing to my head. I also had to lay on my side and switch back and forth. I told them I would do whatever it took for Nathan's sake!
I know that Marisa was picked by God to be by my side. I needed her to be there to fight for me and to have the experience and knowledge that we needed to help us make the right choices for us. But mainly just to pray for me and Nathan! There was more going on that I was not told about. Nick and Marisa did not let me know that Dr. Collins wanted me to have a C-Section. Marisa would talk with the nurses and Doctor in the hallway and plead with them to just give me a chance. That as long as Nathan and I were still healthy to please let me deliver Nathan on my own.
I got to the point where I thought that I was never going to have this baby. I even stopped asking what time did they think I would have him. At this point it did not matter. I wouldn't say I gave up, but I guess I just felt restless. Finally I was checked again at 1:00 pm and the said that I could go ahead and start pushing. Nathan of course was not quite low enough but they thought that pushing would help. Again the adrenaline rush came back. I pushed with ALL my might not even sure I was doing it right! I was so determined to deliver my baby the way I planned. Nick helped in many different ways from holding my hand, to holding my leg and just really encouraging me. I remember holding on to Nick's hoodie, but somewhere along the way Nick said I started choking him. I'm not sure about that but I will post a picture and you can be the judge. Marissa was fantastic and the nurses were great too. The atmosphere was perfect, I had the right people there in that room that I needed.
After two hours of pushing Marissa told me to look up and keep my eyes open. Me, being so out of it and focused that I asked her, "what for" she said, "so you can see Nathan being born!" Although I had to have some assistance (vacuum) at 3:05pm I finally pushed my last push and saw the most beautiful baby! My sweet Nathan finally arrived and was absolutely breathtaking! Like I said before there was a lot of things I did not know. Nathan was not breathing immediately. Nick did not even get to cut the cord, the doctor hurriedly cut it and handed Nathan to the nurses. I remember Nick standing there praying for our baby, praying that he would cry! They quickly suctioned his nose and mouth and put an oxygen mask on him. It felt like an eternity but we finally heard his first cry within a couple of minutes. God answered Nick's prayer!
They cleaned Nathan and wrapped him up and I finally got to hold my son for the first time. The moment Nick and I dreamed and prayed about for so long finally came true. After 25 hours of labor it still did not seem real. I just remember holding Nathan and staring into those big beautiful blue eyes and the amazing thing, Nathan was staring back at me. He knew who I was and knew I was there and I would keep him safe. He didn't even cry! The nurses only let me hold him for a few minutes before they took him back to monitor him since he had such a difficult time.
A family completely in LOVE!!!
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