5 Months!!!!

I'm getting really slack when it comes to Nathan's monthly letters. It just goes by so fast and I start to get my months confused. I seems like as soon as I finish one letter he is already turning a month older. Nathan keeps me SO busy that when I do have time to sit down, I'm so mentally drained that I have a hard time writing anything. I LOVE playing with Nathan and I LOVE watching Nick play with him too. I knew Nick would be a great dad long before marriage and children were a part of the plan. I'm so happy Nick is home with us over the summer. All the while knowing its going to be SO hard when he has to go back to Red Oak. I'm mentally preparing myself for when Nick has to leave us for an entire week to take the Youth to Liberty University. Praying Nathan starts sleeping better before then because I won't be able to function the next day with lack of sleep and no help. I love Nick and I love Nathan can't imagine my life without either one of them! By the way this is my most favorite picture of Nathan's monthly pictures! What a cutie :)

Nathan,

I don't think there has been a day that you haven't tried to learn something new. You are now scooting all around the house. It is the most adorable thing you have done! But at the same time, mommy and daddy want you to SLOW down because we are not ready for you to be mobile yet. You get up on your knees like you are ready to take off crawling but you seem a little scared to do it just yet. We think you will be crawling in a matter of weeks. Better get the house baby proofed!

You have not really caught on to eating your cereal. You refuse to open your mouth to eat. We are being patient and we know you will soon get the hang of it. It is fun trying to feed you.

Good news is you did not have to go to the doctor this month, so that meant no shots! I don't think you have gained much weight. You love to go outside but sometimes its just to hot for us to go out there and play. You get tired of being cramped up in the house and so does your mommy. We are going to have to figure out somethings we can do outside of the house.

We have figured out a new sleeping arrangement for you, by accident. We left you in your car seat one night and you almost slept the entire night! So, this is now your crib. You seem to be comforted by being all snuggled and strapped in. Mommy and daddy are so happy that we have figured out something that works. We would love for you to be in your big crib but for now we are not going to worry about that.

You have to be getting a tooth real soon because you seem to be more and more bothered by your gums. We can't wait, mainly because we want you to get some relief. Teething is HARD work. You get ill sometimes and you want something to gnaw on constantly. You're going to be SO adorable with your little teeth. We can't wait!

So Happy 5 months Nathan! We love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Mommy's Little Man is 4 months old!!!!

I love my little man more than anyone can imagine!!! I can tell Nathan is going to be a lot like Nick especially the way Nick was when he was a kid. Nathan is already a wild child that's not afraid of anything! His new thing is to try to get out of my arms by wiggling until he is free....its crazy to watch him. He never ceases to amaze me. It really does seem like everyday Nathan learns something new! The past 4 months have experience so much joy and frustration, love and i feel like i'm going crazy! I feel like in those moments of madness its God telling Nick and I (especially me) that this is what you prayed for but it just makes us love even bigger :) We Love you God and our sweet Nathan! Its going to be interesting comparing Nathan's life to the life of his future sibling(s)! We want to one day show Nathan what we went through with him when he has a child of his own thats going to be just like him!

Nathan,

Mommy never knows what to expect when it comes to you. You can be perfectly content or playing and then out of the blue start screaming like you just got hurt. It gets mommy so worked up because she only wants the best for you and sometimes she just does not know what you are trying to tell her. As soon as we get a routine established you go and change it on us. You WERE sleeping 8 to 9 hours of solid sleep at night, now we wish you would just sleep 4 hours straight. You get up evey 2 to maybe 3 hours and you wake up screaming! It really scares us sometimes. We have tried several different things to help you out but nothing seems to be working. Your mommy and daddy are more sleep deprived now then when we brought you home as a newborn. We bought a new bassinet, one that you can actually stretch out in and that did not seem to help any at all. We have a suspicion that its where you want to sleep on your belly. When you roll over you roll on your face and that scares you because you can't breathe. Your mom and dad are getting desperate and a little crazy. In time I'm sure your going to learn what to do to sleep better at night.
You went to the doctor for your 4 month check-up and as always you got a great report! You LOVE going to the doctor, mommy thinks its because you get all the attention. You also like the way the paper sounds that they lay you on :) You love Dr. Ramsey and he is pretty fond of you too!!! He always compliments you on your behavior and your pretty blue eyes. You also like how he tells your mommy and daddy that they are doing a perfect job taking care of you!! You had to get those awful shots again but you only cry for a minute and seem to be fine the rest of the day. We also get to finally eat cereal for the first time, we are all excited about that!
Weight = 12lbs 4oz
Head = 16 1/4
Height = 24 1/2
Dr. Ramsey said you were in the low percentile but you were perfect and not to worry. Mommy is not sure we will ever get to call you chunky monkey ;)

We love you,
Mommy and Daddy

Nathan's Poem

I know I look horrible, but that was after 26 hours of HARD labor. But the picture is of Nick praying right after we had Nathan. The nurses were working on Nathan trying to get his breathing normal.
I've been meaning to post this for 3 months now....
Nick whether you know it or not is pretty talented when it comes to writing. Especially poems!!! He has written me several "love" poems over the years since we been together that I will forever cherish! He has written poems for family members that have passed away and even shared them at their funerals. But my favorite ones he has written are of our children. He wrote two beautiful poems after having our miscarriages. I still can't read either one of them without crying. I will post them at a different time. But this one I'm posting is of the one he wrote right after having Nathan. It is so sweet and it shows the love he has for me and Nathan. Nathan and I had a very difficult delivery and Nick recalls it perfectly with his words. So I hope you enjoy it and next time you see Nick tell him how great you thought it was.


Nathan
“Gift from God”

Honey I’m pregnant mouthed the words of my wife
Could this be real can she even bare life?
But Before I could speak darkness clouded my mind
Of the children I lost and the pain I now hide

Yes I was happy but will it ever be true…
Will she make it to the end, will God see her through?
To deal with the pain I built walls around my heart
You can’t change your past without knowing where to start

I began to smile and nod my head
I must stay strong so I turned and said,
I Love You honey, we will be okay
God is in control what more can I say

Every visit to the doctor was surrounded by fear
Would your little heart-beat, would the ultrasound be clear?
After hearing the good news God filled us with joy
I’ll never forget the words, “You’re having a BOY!!!”

9 months later to the day
We got in the car you were on the way
After we got to the hospital time stood still
This moment I dreamed of suddenly seemed real.

Problem after Problem would soon fill the night
I prayed and prayed everything was right.
Your heart would go from low to high
It was all I could do to not to break down and cry

We soon found out that you were turned wrong
But we didn’t care as long as you were healthy and strong.
The doctors thought mommy would go under the knife
But little did they know the strength of my wife?

As I leaned over to cut your cord
I noticed your body was stiff as a board
The doctor said, “Move out of my way”
They took your body and placed it on a tray.

When you came out, you were not crying at all
So I cried out to my savior please answer my call.
Heavenly father I’m in need of your grace
Touch my son show me your face

As I closed my eyes I began to pray
Lord help my son make it through this day
God give him breath and please make him cry
God give him life I can’t say goodbye.

5 hours later your breathing got right
We held you in our arms all swaddled and tight
God answered our prayers from heaven above
He gave us a son to cherish and love.

I love you Lord I’ll do what I can
To raise this boy a Godly man
Thank you God for this gift of life
Thank you God for my amazing wife

Thank you God for the power of prayer
Thank you God for not leaving us there
Thank you God and to you I live
Thank you God for the life you give

Everything I do, I give you all the glory
Thank you God for Nathan’s story

I prayed for this child, and the LORD answered my prayer and gave him to me (1 Samuel 1:27).

Happy 3 months, Nathan!

What can I say other than I was blessed with the cutest, sweetest, most adorable baby in the world. I know every mom says that, but he is to me! Nathan is growing so fast and learning so many things its mind boggling. I absolutely LOVE staying home with him because I never miss any of his new achievements. He’s got me wrapped around his little bitty finger. It’s been this way since day one; he’s just now figuring it out. I love our little family and one day in the VERY VERY far future I look forward to expanding it. I would love for Nathan to be a big brother to a little brother or sister.

Nathan,

You are no longer a newborn, you're an infant! That’s no big deal to you because you have never been a “true” newborn. You have been pretty much independent from the beginning. You LOVE to explore your new world. Your eyes are always looking for new things to look at. You are such happy baby! Your favorite thing to look at next to your mommy and daddy is YOURSELF :) I don't blame you one bit, because I would stare at myself all day long if I was as cute as you! Your second favorite thing to do is eat your hands. You will soon be getting a little toothy and it’s already driving you crazy. You can't keep your hands out of your mouth, because it’s the only thing that makes you feel better. You were not eating or sleeping as well, but you seem to be coping better now.

Your mommy and daddy thought they were going to be smart and let you sleep in your crib but you had other plans. You wanted to stay close to us even if it meant being squished in your little bassinet. You can't even stretch out all the way, but you wouldn't have it any other way. It is so cute to see you all snuggled and sleeping. Your only 3 months old and have already been through 3 mobiles. You love your mobile so much it was heartbreaking when the first one did not spin. Your daddy tried to "fix" it and then it would not even play the song. So we got a replacement and your daddy still managed to somehow turn the knob to far and broke that one as well. So mommy bought the last one she is ever going to buy and your daddy is not allowed to touch this one. Funny thing is, you seem to like this one the most!

Your favorite time of the day is bath time. You finally figured out how much fun you can have splashing all the water of the tub. Mommy and daddy spend a lot of time cleaning water off the floor, but it’s worth the time just to see that big smile you have on your face. This week we heard your first “true” laugh. Nothing ever sounded so sweet. It brought tears to our eyes and melted our hearts. Now we are trying everything we can to get you to laugh some more. You have even learned to make motor boat sounds with your mouth while making bubbles. It is SO cute! You have so many facial expressions but our favorite one is when you smile 

Your mommy and you have had a lot of scary situations. This month we have encountered two incidents with SPIDERS! You already know how much mommy hates spiders. One almost crawled on your mommy when she was holding you, and she calmly put you down and grabbed a flyswatter and killed that thing ten times over. A week or so later, mommy was feeding you when she saw something crawling on the floor. The spider was so big it probably could have eaten you. Luckily daddy was still home and was able to kill it before it came any closer. You’re going to grow up to be mommy’s little Spiderman!!!

You love to play! You sometimes get up in the middle of the night just so you can get on the floor and play with your toys. Although your mommy and daddy don’t want to get up that early it sure is worth seeing that smile on your face when you bat and pull your toys.

Your play mat is your favorite. You play so hard, that you sometimes forget to take a nap. You can be in the middle of playing, smiling, having the time of your life and instantly start to cry. Mommy will pick you up and hold you and you fall asleep in minutes. You still will not take a long nap; usually between 30 to 45 minutes. Every once in a while you will nap for 2 to 3 hours but we never count on it.

You are SO spoiled, but in a good way. You are slowly becoming your own person. You still look mostly like your mommy, but daddy is slowly coming out of you. You definitely have his eyelashes. They are so long that they are curling. The look you give with those beautiful blue eyes is going to make you an instant heartthrob! You also have your daddy’s personality. All play and no work  Next month is going to bring even more new things. You will get those awful shots again, but also enjoy your first food, cereal!!! We are ALL excited!!!

It’s so hard to believe that last year at this time you were in the beginning stage of growing in your mommy’s tummy. Mommy and daddy did not know it yet, but sure were praying that you were. We would find out a few short weeks later, right before Mother’s Day. Mommy is so excited to be able to spend our second Mother’s Day together, only this time you will be in her arms! Thank you Nathan for making mommy a real mommy, not just one in her heart!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Nathan LOVES his Mommy!!!

As I was rocking Nathan to sleep last night (it's the only way he will go to sleep), I realize just how much he loves me. He was so so tired, but would not keep his eyes closed because he wanted to keep looking at me. He wanted to make sure I was still holding him. I absolutely LOVE our night time snuggling time! I sing to him, I kiss him and I just rub his little bitty head. He prefers me over anyone else. While singing to him I couldn't help but think of the aerosmith song, "I don't want to miss a thing." So I started to sing this to him....

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

I imagine Nathan singing this to me....

Don't want to close my eyes
Don't want to fall asleep
Cause I miss you mommy
and I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you mommy
and I don't want to miss a thing

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to stay with you
right here with you just like this
I just want you to hold me close,
feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
for the rest of time.

So for now this is Nathan and mommy's song! I love that little boy SO much :)

Sweet Nathan is two months today! Ok, so we thought the first month went by really fast, but we were wrong the second month was even faster. It’s hard to believe that we fall more and more in love with our sweet baby boy every day. God has blessed us so much and we thank Him daily for giving us Nathan! God is so amazing; we see His power at work more every day!

Dear Nathan,

Wow, it’s hard to believe you are two months today! It just seems like you were born only 2 weeks ago and here you are a 2 month old! You have grown even more since last month. You have gotten so long, that your feet dangle now when mommy cradles you. We know you have gained even more weight. Mommy and daddy think you weigh a good 10 pounds but we will find out for sure on Thursday for your two month check-up. We all are dreading your visit because we know you will be getting more of those awful shots. It breaks mommy’s heart to see her sweet boy in any kind of pain, so daddy is coming with us this time so he can comfort mommy while she comforts you!

You seem to learn something new every day. You are still rolling over, even though you don’t seem to love it. You are still oohing and aahing and have even started to gurgle and coo. Your baby talk is so precious! You love when your mommy sings to you; you join in for a duet. She can turn almost any song into a song about Nathan!

Your favorite place to play is your changing table. You love to stare at your stars and moon that are hanging on the wall above your changing table. You talk and smile and even sound like you’re laughing while looking at them. Mommy has tried to get you playing on video but you seem to shy away from the camera. As soon as mommy hits record you instantly stop playing. You are also trying your hardest to sneak and watch TV. If mommy has you on the floor and she walks away when she gets back you are staring at the TV! It makes her so mad, so you do it even more :)

You have found a new love this month, your hands. You LOVE to eat them and swing them and hold them. It is SO cute! You are holding your head up so well, but I think part of it is because you have a peanut head like your daddy :). You are trying to do mini push-ups when you are lying on your tummy. You are starting to like tummy time more. Your favorite thing to do is to follow your mommy with your eyes wherever she goes. If she talks or laughs you instantly look up and you try to find her. But it’s not hard because she is never too far away from you. You seem to love your mommy the most right now, but we know daddy’s turn is not too far in the future!

The most important thing (well at least to your mommy and daddy) is that you have gotten better at sleeping this month! Even last night you slept for nine hours without waking up a single time. That is amazing! Like we have said before, we hope you love to sleep just like mommy and daddy! And it seems you do!

It’s hard to believe that mommy and daddy could possible love you any more than we already do. But every day we fall more and more in love with you. You are such a sweet boy and you love your mommy and daddy so much! We look forward to the many new milestones we know you are going to hit and the monthly birthdays to come!

Love,
Your mommy and daddy

Wow has it already been a month....

How quickly time flies bye when you don't want it too. My sweet baby boy is one month today. It still brings tears to my eyes just looking at him. Nick and I absolutely love being parents. We are really starting to figure out what makes Nathan happy. Hard to believe how quickly you forget all the pain and labor you go through to bring them into the world, well not completely yet.

Nathan,

You are such a sweet baby. You are way more beautiful than we ever imagined you would be. You make us laugh so much by making funniest faces and noises. You have such a quirky personality already. You got that from your daddy. You also at times make us want to pull our hair out when you are crying for no apparent reason, but that might be because mommy and daddy are probably doing something wrong.

You and mommy miss daddy so much when he is at work. We count the hours down til he gets off work. We get so happy when we hear daddy's car in the driveway. He is always so happy to see you too. Its his favorite part of the day to be able to hold and play with you. Mommy loves how you wait for daddy to get home from work to have a poopy diaper. Mommy loves being able to stay home and take care of you. She never knew she would work harder now than she did with a full time job. But taking care of you is a full time job.

You have grown so much in only a month. You now weigh 9 pounds 7 ounces and you are 21 1/2 inches long, such a big boy. But I guess eating 4 ounces every 3 to 4 hours does that to you. As of now you are doing really good sleeping at night, mommy and daddy thank God for that daily. You do not sleep much during the day for mommy. You would rather mommy hold and kiss you and I'm fine with that too. Mommy would however love the opportunity to take a shower and eat, but she knows with time you will let her. You love your daddy so much, sometimes he is the only one that can get you to stop crying. All he has to do is start to talk to you or even better sing to you and you stop crying immediately and just listen.

You are starting to smile and it melts mommy and daddy's heart each time we see it. You started talking a few days before you were three weeks old. We love to hear your oohs and aahs. We love seeing you smile and hearing you coo more and more each day. You're holding your head up so good that we joke that you are not a newborn, you're a grown-up. You even rolled over on your own today. Your daddy and I could not believe it. Your favorite thing to do is lay in just your diaper on the floor. That gets you wiggling and kicking and talking the most. You love to stare at your mommy and daddy. Mommy will never forget the first time she held you, you looked right at her and just stared. No one had to tell you she was your mommy, you already knew.

Everyday mommy and daddy work on teaching you new skills. But you have also taught us so much too. You have taught us the power of prayer, because without prayer you would not be here. 1 Samuel 1:27 I prayed for this child, and the Lord answered my prayer and gave him to me.

We love you so much,
mommy and daddy