TEACCH of Chapel Hill

Tomorrow is the day!  Please be in prayer for us and especially Nathan on Tuesday!  We will have a very early morning.  Pray we all get some good sleep tonight!  Pray that Nathan will have a good day with the examiners.  Pray they will be able to give us what we have been working so hard to find out!

My heart has so many mix emotions!  I'm so happy to finally have the chance to get some questions answered!  But so nervous as to what those answers will be.  My heart breaks that my little boy even has to go through this tomorrow!  But I'm giving my emotions to God!  He already knows the answers and knows the life Nathan is going to live!

Thanks for the prayers,
Shannon and Nick

Nathan update!

First we want to thank everyone for their prayers so far!  We also want to thank the ones who has since asked about how Nathan is doing!  It means the world to us that we have so many people who care about our sweet boy!

So things have moved pretty fast since my last post on what we were facing with Nathan.  We got in touch with Children's Developmental Service Agency (CDSA) of Rocky Mount.  Nathan has his own case worker who is his/our advocate!  Most everything is done in our home which is a blessing for all of us!  So on Monday Janice (our caseworker) and a Terri (psychologist) came to the house to do Nathan's evaluation.  I was nervous as you can imagine.  I knew Nathan wouldn't fully cooperate and so therefore I would be the one that would have to best answer questions about Nathan's development.

The results are Nathan is developmentally delayed and they want to do further evaluations to determine if he is in fact Autistic.  They felt it would be best to send us to an agency that specializes in everything Autistic.  The CDSA thinks we could be looking at possible Aspergers or Pervasive Development Disorder (PDD).   Nathan is such a hard one to figure out.  He has SO many high functioning skills(which kept Nick and I from contacting CDSA) which is a blessing!  We know he has a lot of potential no matter the diagnosis!

The agency we are trying to get him evaluated with is TEACCH in Greenville!  The paper work is already adding up.  They ask to describe a typical day with Nathan and we only have one page to write on but I could write a book, lol!  We have had a lot of people ask us, "Do you think there is something really wrong with Nathan (which by the way it is very insulting to ask us this.  It makes us feel that you don't think we know our own child)?"  Our response is YES!  Nathan is a very sweet and affectionate kid and laughs a lot and enjoys life!  That's what most people see on the outside looking in.  Nathan is stuck on routines and the way things are suppose to look (in his mind) and if anything changes he completely loses it.  We walked into the gym at our church the other night and there were tables set up for people to eat.  Nathan not expecting to see all those tables and all those people just stopped at the entrance and would not go any further.  It was like he couldn't cross an imaginary line.  He walked back and forth during the whole meal without crossing over his imaginary line.  He has limited communication skills and food has always been a battle.  He can learn a new song in a day or two (full length Christian contemporary music) and would be happy if that's all life offered!  He is almost 3 years old and can spell his name out loud but can not answer the question, "what is your name?"  He can say "I love you" and "mommy" but can not say "I love you mommy" without it sounding like a foreign language and all you can understand is the "mommy" part.  Nathan demonstrates mostly jargon and echolalia language.  He only says phrases that he has heard multiple times and repeats only the known words in sentences.  There has been NO initiation on his part to come up with his own sentences.

Like I said I can write a book on Nathan.  There are SO many other things that has us worried about him but we will maybe save those for another day!  Nathan means the world to Nick and I and we only want the best for him.  If we go through all this and they tell us that he only has a communication problem then we will be over the moon. We highly doubt that's going to be the outcome.  Be in prayer that we get in at TEACCH and we won't have to be put on a waiting list.  Pray that once his therapies start that we will start seeing progress instantly!  Pray for guidance for Nick and I with all the decisions we now face.  We know we are not taking this path alone: God made Nathan exactly the way he wanted Nathan to be!  God makes no mistakes!  We couldn't love that little boy anymore if we tried!!!

Nathan "Gift from God"

All we ever wanted was you!  It was love at first sight for your mom and dad when we first saw you during our first ultrasound!  We knew God had given us someone very special!  We did not care if you were a boy or a girl we just wanted healthy!  We prayed that if you weren't healthy that God would grant us just one minute with you!  We wanted to meet you and hold you and this time be able to give our child a name!  We found out you were healthy and every part of you was "perfect!"  We found out you were a boy!  We were over the moon!  Mommy finally started to relax and really felt God saying, " I have answered your prayers you will get to hold this sweet one!"

When they placed you in my arms I knew I would give my last breathe in order for you to have life!  The way you looked at me was as if you were telling me, "Mommy, I know I'm safe in your arms!"  

God gave us a beautiful, happy, silly, sweet, perfect boy!  Well, he is perfect to us!  Nathan has brought so much joy and laughter and love to our home.  We wouldn't change a thing about him.  We have noticed some odd things about Nathan the past year.  Even though he met every single milestone his first two years of life we knew something was off about him.  We would tell ourselves, "oh, well that's just Nathan." "He will "grow" out of it."  "Nathan marches to the beat of his own drum."  We told ourselves that we will just keep watching him and see how he progresses.  There hasn't been much change in him.  He avoids almost all interaction with other adults and even children.  He rarely pays any attention to his brother.  He doesn't talk much and when he is outside the house almost not at all.  

We met with his doctor with our list and before I could even finish the doctor stopped me and said the words no parents wants to hear, "Nathan needs to be evaluated for Autism."  Nick and I had prepared ourselves for that response but it did not make it any easier. So we will ask for prayers for our sweet boy and for us.  The next few months of getting appointments set up and evaluations aren't going to be easy.  We pray that the right doctors and nurses will be in place to figure out what and if anything is different about our child.  

God gave us Nathan for a reason!  I know that as parents we are the ones who are suppose to teach our children but Nathan has already taught us so much.  That life is hard but with God ALL things are possible!  He is full of life and he still gives me that look, "Mommy, I know I'm safe in your arms!" 

Psalm 139:13-14 

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well

2 months and 3 months

Joshua,

Mommy wants to apologize for not updating last month!  The past two months have been crazy busy, crazy fast and just plain crazy!  We had to take Nathan to the emergency room because he got dehydrated due to a stomach virus.  Poor little fella was so miserable and weak for 5 whole days it broke mommy and daddy's heart.  Since you were so little we prayed really hard that you would not get the virus because we were really scared that your little body would not be able to handle it!  Praise God you did not get it and neither did  mommy or daddy!  

Since turning two months old you have learned so many new and fun things.  You are smiling like crazy and we have finally heard your sweet little laugh!  Its really more of a chuckle but cute nevertheless!  You can now roll over both ways and its so hard to put you on the floor because we really don't know where you will end up.  Right after turning two months you decided all on your own that you no longer want to be held like a baby.  You get so mad at us if we hold you laying flat, you want to see what is going on in your world.  In fact you started pulling yourself up into a sitting position at two months!  You only want to be held ALL the time.  From the moment you wake up from naps and bedtime you have to be in someones arms.  Which usually is mommies since she is home with you the most.  Mommy jokes that her left arm is going to have muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger from holding you so much!  You absolutely HATE your swing!  Any time you are put in it you almost immediately arch your back up so much that you throw yourself out of it.  Its the craziest thing mommy and daddy have seen!
At 4 months you weigh 13 pounds 1 ounce which is a little heavier than Nathan at the same age.  You both were the same length but your head is slightly bigger (which did not surprise mommy and daddy)!  We finally found some formula that agrees with your tummy and you finally get to start eating baby food!  You LOVE LOVE LOVE eating baby food!  So we might end up having us a little chunky monkey before babyhood is over!  I told everyone that you were going to be my little eater. We are hoping you can inspire your big brother to want to eat as well!
We are about to have the summer with dada!  We are counting the days down to he is home with us!  Mommy and daddy's summer goals is to potty train Nathan (hopefully) and get you to sleep better!  For some reason you wake up hour after hour all night long.  You are so worked up its hard to calm you back down to get you back to sleep.  Mommy and daddy are beyond sleep deprived and we are getting frustrated!  We have tried different places for you to sleep and none of them have worked so far.  We were hoping eating baby food was going to help you sleep better but so far nothing has worked.  We know that in time it will happen!
We think that you are so adorable and we are head over heels in love with you!  God has blessed us with two of the most precious boys!
Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Mother's Day 2013

I am a very blessed woman and mommy!  I have three amazing men in my life!  The first being my husband who loves me and our children more than he or I could ever put into words!  The second and Third are our two sweet beautiful boys!  I spent a little while just looking at those two today and was thinking, "is this really my life!"  "What have I done to deserve such blessings?"  I thought about life just a short year ago and how different it is now! 

Saturday, May 12, 2012 started out as a typical day at the Finch house!  Later in the day Nick took Nathan out to play and I was going to join them shortly.  I needed to take care of some laundry and wash my hair!  After washing my hair I decided to tackle the never ending pile of laundry!  I can't explain it very well but anyone who has ever been pregnant knows exactly the feeling I'm about to describe.............Just out of no where I felt like I needed to take a break and just lay down out of pure exhaustion , so I did.  An hour later Nick comes in to check on me and there I was passed out on the bed and I wasn't even aware I had fallen asleep.  I had wet hair and everything.  I knew in that instant that I needed to take a pregnancy test!  So the next day (Mother's Day 2012) I got up at 5am to take that test.  After waiting the appropriate time I looked at the test and only saw one line, so I tossed the test and went back to sleep.  Later that morning when I was in the bathroom I decided to look at that test again and to my astonishment I saw two lines this time but only if you held it up in the light!  I went and showed Nick the test just to make sure I wasn't going crazy and seeing things and he saw it too!

The whole day Nick and I were in complete disbelief!  We wanted this baby and had planned him but was a little shocked that it happened so quickly!  Trying to conceive with Nathan, it could not happen quick enough and the three months it took seemed like an eternity.  I needed Nathan, I needed a baby to hold and to love.  We had already lost two precious children and we needed a baby that would restore hope and bring us some happiness.  We wanted to be a mommy and daddy more than anything!  With Joshua, we were not in any rush to conceive and it happened the first month!  But Gods time is always the perfect time!

Fast forward a year later and I have a very sweet baby that is determined he is not going to be a baby!  Don't treat him like he is a baby and by all means don't hold him like he is a baby!  It's hard to put into words what Joshua means to us!  We did not need Joshua like we needed Nathan!  I hope he thinks that He's special because we just simply wanted him!  The more children we have the more complete I feel as a person and as a mother.  The biggest question we get asked, "Are y'all going to try for a girl?"  My response is always the same, "If we have another child its because we want another child!"  God knows what is best for us and if boys are all we are going to have then I will take them and love every single one of them with all my heart!  Becoming a mother was the most natural and easiest transition in life I have ever gone through.  Yes, there are days that are really tough but I really do feel like I was made to do this.  Thankful for God's perfect design of women!

Nathan who has had my heart the longest always amazes me!  I never give him the benefit of the doubt!  I was really worried how he was going to handle everything once we brought Joshua home.  Nathan is and will always be a momma's boy so I was worried that he would feel replaced.  I was worried he would act ugly to Joshua.  I was worried he would seclude himself.  He has been the best big brother to Joshua!  Yes, there has been times that he has gotten upset when Joshua would wake up from a nap!  Nathan who has very few words, would pull me back to Joshua's bassinet and cry and point at it, in other words put Joshua back so you and me can go back to playing without him!  But most of the time he wants to help me take care of Joshua!  He loves to bring him his blanket whether he needs it or not.  Nathan likes to give him his paci too, but I sometimes think its just where he doesn't want him to cry and interrupt Nathan's movie time!  But what melts my heart the most is when he tells Joshua night-night and will give him hugs and kisses!  Their favorite thing to do together is lay down in Joshua's crib and listen to the mobile!  Nathan watches the mobile and Joshua watches Nathan.  Joshua loves when Nathan sits down in front of his swing and pushes him and turns the music on for him too!  I love every second of everyday that I get to stay at home with these two precious souls that God has entrusted us with!

I always pause and reflect on our two babies that we never got a chance to meet.  I rejoice that I was able to be there mommy even if it was only for a few short weeks!  Still hurts just as much today as it did the days we lost them, maybe even more so.  I know what its like to be a mom now and the love I have for my two boys and it breaks my heart that I wasn't able to give the same love to them!  Heaven is just going to be even more sweeter for us! 

Not that I needed any gifts to celebrate today because my two boys are gifts enough but I got two of the most precious gifts that Nick could ever give to me!  The first gift was a necklace shaped as a tree that has all four of our children's birthstones (two of the stones represent the lives of the two we lost of what would have been their birth months)!  The second gift was a poem he wrote on Joshua's life!  From finding out we were pregnant, to Joshua being 4 days overdue, and to our extra days in the hospital trying to overcome the stress that labor had put on his little body!  It is beautiful!  I can't wait to hang it on our wall right next to the poem he wrote for Nathan as well!  I will post both of them in my next blog once he gives me the digital copies!  I always look forward to Mother's Day because there was honestly a time when I wasn't sure I would get to truly celebrate the day! 

Two months!!!

 

Dear Joshua,

 

Happy two months sweet baby!!!

 

I think mommy and daddy have finally figured you out!!  And when you're happy we are all happy!  We now know what each of your cries mean.  We can now tell if you're too tired, hungry or just simply want a new diaper!  We also now know your favorite way to be held or when you are just tired of being held and want to lay on the floor and just look at your goofy big brother!  You have added just pure joy to our home!  Your beautiful smile is enough to melt our heart!!!  Mommy and daddy were scared that we wouldn't be able to love you as much as we love Nathan (if we are being honest)!  We thought it would be impossible for our heart to have enough room to love the both of you fully!  But you know what the amazing thing is our heart did not have enough room to love you both so God made it possible for our heart to grow and love each of you fully!

 

At your 2 month check up you showed Dr. Ramsey that you have the Finch charm!  You gave him your cutest smile and even talked to him while he listened to your heart!  I think you're his favorite patient right now!  You started out SO big that it surprised us all!  Now, you are smaller than your brother Nathan when he was two months old! You are in the 10 percentile with your weight at 10 pounds and 7 ounces!  You had a really nasty cold that you caught from Nathan!  You had a terrible cough that would get you all choked up and make it hard for you to breathe!  It really scared us, but Dr. Ramsey said that you were fine but it would take you a while to get rid of it.  You decided that it would only be fair for you to pass it on, so mommy and daddy got sick too!  We are all feeling much better now!

 

Today for the first time you got to hear your daddy preach!  He did a great job and even had a shout out to you for turning two months old!  Two things happened over the last month that mommy and daddy were really hoping for:  The first one was you learning to roll over!  You did it like a pro, even Nathan was impressed!!  The second one was for Nathan to give you a chance: Nathan really loves you!  He loves to bring you your blanket, he tries to put your paci in your mouth for you!  He gives you hugs and kisses and loves to tell you "night night" before he goes to bed!  He has even held you for a few seconds but he gets nervous when you cry!  You each have a special thing you add to our home!  Praying God gives us many years and memories together!!!

 

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

Happy One Month, Joshua!!!

Joshua,

Wow, what a fast and crazy month!  You have had a very rough start to life but we thank God that you are 100% completely healed now!  After getting home from our extended stay in the hospital we could not find a formula that would agree with you.  In 3 short weeks you went through 4 different formula's before the doctor finally agreed what mommy and daddy suspected, you have an intolerance to milk!  Luckily for us they make soy formula and ever since we made the switch, you have been a "new" baby! 

Your big brother Nathan, is adjusting so much better to having a baby brother than mommy and daddy thought he would!  The first time he saw you he said, "Baby" and gave you a big hug.  He loves to give you kisses and wants to call you Nathan too!  But he does have his moments where he is jealous and will not have anything to do with whoever is holding you.  We know in time he will love you just as much as mommy and daddy love you! 

Now that your tummy has settled you are finally able to sleep more than an hour at a time!  You have your best sleep starting at 7:00 and will sleep for a good 5 hours!  The only problem is mommy is still up waiting for Nathan's bed time and she has to finish up some of her to-do list.  So mommy is very sleep deprived but its a price she is willing to pay because she really loves taking care of you!  We love watching you do your daily exercises, tummy time!  In fact today you almost rolled over, you got half way over and got stuck!    We were so proud of you, we were cheering you on! 

You had your 1 month check up and the doctor said you were perfect!  That makes mommy and daddy so happy!  You are 10 lbs 1 oz, so you have slowed down a little on your growth but still bigger than your big brother was at a month!  Nathan was always in the 10 percentile but you are in the 50 percentile as of right now!  We tell Nathan all the time he needs to start eating because you are going to pass him by the time you turn one!

We love you Joshua and thank God for blessing us with another beautiful sweet boy!  We look forward to watching you grow up and become the child God made you to be!  We are so excited that God picked us to be your mommy and daddy!  We can't imagine our life without our sweet baby!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy